Stupid Questions

I've gotten TONS of positive feedback on this post. Thanks you guys :D

So, hopefully all of you have noticed by now that I wear a scarf (aka hijab. I prefer "scarf" though.) It's something I do in order to practice one aspect of my religion and beliefs. And I guess it goes without saying (or at least, I hope it does) that, after seeing my scarf, you realize that I am, in fact, Muslim.

Now, as with anyone that dresses/acts/believes differently than the majority, I make people curious. And what do people do when they get curious? They ask questions. Of course, I don't mind at all, provided the questions are even worth the time it takes to answer them. I mean, really guys. Would it kill people to use the minds that they've been bestowed and think through things rationally? I know it goes against the old adage, "There's no such thing as a stupid question," but I'm sorry to say there's really no other way to describe some of the things I've been asked.

Allow me to entertain you with some of the more... interesting, to say the least... questions I've heard. Hopefully, I'll be able to dispel some of the myths that you guys might have, while still managing to entertain myself :D (Note: I mean no offense to anyone by writing this post. I just felt like sharing a collaboration of odd questions that my other hijab-wearing friends and I have been asked on previous occasions.)

Let's start out with the basics...

Q: Why do you wear that?
A: Because it helps keep me smart. The information in my brain can't escape through my ears.

I wear it first and foremost because it's a practice promoted by my religion, and one that I believe in. I feel like I have an added perk too, because it separates my real friends from the phonies.

Q: Doesn't it get hot with that on?
A: No. I have a fully functional central-AC installed in there, so I feel a pleasant breeze blowing under my scarf the whole day.

*rolls eyes* Of course it gets hot. That's not enough to stop me though. You can get used to anything after a while.



Q: Do you sleep in your scarf?
A: Yep. In fact, I have one designated just for sleeping. It's like an extension to my pj's...

*Pssst! That was sarcasm.* Rule of thumb, if it doesn't make sense, then it's probably not true.



Q: What color is your hair?
A: Hot pink.

Not really. But what's the point of wearing it if I go mouthing off about my hair anyway?



Q: Do you shower with that on?
A: Mhmm.
Q: So do you like, blow-dry it out?
A: No, I just kinda wring out the water.
Q: Oh... so isn't it hard to wash?
A: Not at all. That's the beauty of it. I just lather in the shampoo, rinse and I'm good to go.

Ok guys, I do not shower w/my scarf on. And yes, I do wash my scarves. In a washer dryer. Just like the rest of my clothes.



Q: Do you have ears under there?
A: Sadly, no... I can't even hear what you're saying right now. It makes having conversations really hard, but I've learned to read lips.

Yes... I honestly don't know how anyone could ever even think to ask this. Kudos to you for being the person with the most ridiculous question to date :]



Q: Can I touch it?
A: No, sorry. You'll spontaneously combust.

Yesss, you can touch it. But, I'd rather you didn't, because it would be kind of awkward having someone poke my head. *awkward turtle*



Q: What happens if I see your hair?
A: You'll be hit by a bolt of lightning, and then your eyes fall out.

Not really. I mean... nothing would really happen. There'd be no "divine intervention" and no, I wouldn't be branded a sinner a sinner or anything. Again, I'd just rather you didnt.



Q: Are you bald?
A: I wish you hadn't found out, but yes... yes I am. I suffer from female patterned baldness. The round thing sticking out of the back of my scarf is just a tennis ball I stick in there 'cause I think it looks cool.

No, I am not bald. Enough said. In fact, the round bulge you see @ the back of my head is probably where my hair is tied up in a bun.





Alright, now on the bizarre questions. Some of these just left me scratching my head for a second, wondering how on earth anyone could even believe such a thing:

Q: Were you born with that on?
A: Mhmm. I came out wearing a scarf. Even in the ultra-sound pictures, I have a little mini-scarf on my fetal head.

No. I was not born with a scarf on my head. Actually, I didn't even start wearing it full-time until the summer after freshman year.


Q: Do you ever take it off?
A: Nope. In fact, I've never even seen my own hair. For all I know, I might be blonde.

Of course I take it off. I don't wear it at home around my family, or around my girl-friends. Honestly people...


Q: Do your headphones come attached to your scarf? (no... I'm not even kidding)
A: They do, actually. I have one set attached to every hijab.

Haha nooo. I stick my headphones in before I put on my hijab.


Q: Is that stitched to your head?
A: Mhmm. It's impossible to get it off. I have to stick my head in the washing machine and dryer when I need to get it clean.

Uhh... ewww. I don't think I even need to answer this for you to know that it's not true. Can you imagine how painful that would be?


Q: Do different colored scarves represent different things?
A: Yeah. It's kind of like a mood-ring.

No. In no way at all do scarves represent things. We just wear whichever one matches our outfits.


(The day after I started wearing it.)
Q: So are you like, married to Jesus now?
A: No...

Wow... just... wow. It's shocking how senseless some people are.


Q: Do you guys know when another person gets a haircut?
A: You know us and our Muslim telepathy.

No, we can't tell if another scarf-wearer has gotten a haircut, unless she tells us.



Surprisingly, that's all I can think of right now... I'll be sure to add more as they come along :]

Now, I just decided, on a whim, to share with you guys some funny comments my friends and I have gotten/conversations we've had with random people about wearing a scarf. This is so much fun, I'm just loooking for excuses to keep going :D


One of my friends usually wears blue and black scarves, only because that's what goes with most of her clothes. One day, she showed up in a pink scarf.
Boy: Hey, you're wearing a different color now. Did you like, pass a level or something?
Girl: Oh my God... This isn't a karate belt or something.
Boy: Oh... *shuffles away*



Person: Where are you from?
Me: California.
Person: No, no, where are you ORIGINALLY from?
Me: California.
Person: Umm...well I mean...you aren't American (motions to my hijab), so you can't be from here....so where are you from?

Look you guys. I was born in Torrance, raised in Anaheim. I haven't been out of the U.S. since I was 6, and even that was for just 12 days. I'm about as cultural as French fries.



Person: *pointing to my scarf* What's that?
Me: A scarf.
Person: No, I mean in your language.
Me: A scarf.
Person: Hmm... really. *walks away*

Oh Lord... English is my first language. Therefor, I prefer to use the English words for things... 'cause, you know, I do speak English. *shocker, I know.*


Random guy: Would you take your scarf off if it was on fire?

Would you take your pants off if they were on fire?
In case it wasn't obvious, the answer is yes.